Your guide to the jargon and lingo that gets tossed around frequently here at the Mötley College Football headquarters.

Bayou Bengals - LSU Tigers

BCOGHSHIHEGTGA - Brodie Croyle Oh God He's Still Here Is He Ever Going to Graduate Award, given out annually to players that seem to have been in school for six years (or more).

Beano the Hutt - Beano Cook

BGDCOTW - Bill Gramática Dumbass Celebration of the Week, so named as a result of the knee injury incurred when Bill Gramatica celebrated a first-half field goal by jumping up and down.

BlackShirts - The vaunted, feared Nebraska defense

BlackSkirts - The not-so-vaunted, definitely-not-feared version of the Nebraska defense

CDP - Coach Death Penalty (i.e. Lou Tepper). So horrible at running a program, having CDP as the man-in-charge leaves you with the same after effects as a Death Penalty verdict handed down by NCAA investigators (without any of the fun that usually precedes it).

CFR - College Football Resource

Coach 2ndHalfSoftZone - Ron Zook

Coach AnkleTattoo - Bret Bielema

Coach DeathPenalty - Lou Tepper (see CDP entry above)

Coach FatBastard - Charlie Weis, although you can throw Mark Mangino in the running for this one, as well

Coach FingerPointer - Urban Meyer

Coach ManBoobs - Chuck Amato

Coach Mustache - Dave Wannstedt

Coach PaperShredder - Rich Rodriguez

Coach PornStache - Mike Belotti

Coach SizzlerSteak - Barry Alvarez

Coach SweaterVest - Jim Tressel

Coach ThroatSlash - Bill Callahan

Coach TruckerHat - Les Miles

Coach WilfordBrimley - Joe Tiller

CoonAss - Derogatory term, popularized by Nick Saban, used to describe persons of Cajun ethnicity

Cow College - Alabama's nickname for Auburn

Darth Visor - Steve Spurrier

Criminoles - Moniker given to the Florida State Seminoles due to their propensity for five-finger discounts

ED - Erectile Dysfunction

EDSBS - Every Day Should Be Saturday

Eau de Corndog - The fine fragrance given off by fans of the LSU Tigers

Fighting Condoms - USC Trojans

Fighting GamePhalli - South Carolina GameCocks

HBC - Head Ball Coach (i.e. Steve Spurrier)

Jesus Antichrist TebowStar - Florida QB Tim Tebow

Jill - Crazy chick from the Nokia break-up commercial series that ran throughout the 2006 college football season

JoePa - Penn State Coach Joe Paterno

JLSIJOTW - John L. Smith Interview Jackass of the Week. This award is given to the coach who acts like an absolute nutjob at a press conference or during an interview with a sideline reporter.

??oyd - Lloyd Carr. The question marks get converted to L's after every Michigan loss.

LCCMOTW - Lloyd Carr Coaching Move of the Week. This award has its genesis in Lloyd's decision to utilize the Stupid Ass Punt Formation in the Wolverines' 2003 game against Iowa. In the two weeks prior to the Iowa game, Michigan had punts blocked in a loss to Oregon and a win over Indiana while employing the non-standard punt formation. The third time was obviously not the charm, as Michigan rolled out the formation again and had another punt blocked in a 30-27 loss to the Hawkeyes in Iowa City. I'm not even a Michigan fan, and that sequence led to me hurling a string of expletives at the TV.

Les Diables Bleus - Duke Blue Devils

Les Diables du Soleil - Arizona State Sun Devils. They were given the French moniker after I noticed their mascot (Sparky) has a mustache like you might see sported by an uptight, French waiter.

Lesdiables - Lesbian ladies who are also fans of the Arizona State Sun Devils

Les Tigres - LSU Tigers, so named because of the French Cajun ethnicity inherent to Louisiana

LUS - Poking fun at the spelling ability of LSU cheerleaders.

NSFA - Not Safe for Anyone

NSFW - Not Safe for Work

Pick Rix - A tribute to former Florida State QB Chris Rix, this term refers to any time a quarterback throws a stupid interception that leads to an immediate six points for the opposing team.

PinkShirts - Another term for the not-so-vaunted, definitely-not-feared version of the Nebraska defense

Riverboat Gambler - Tommy Tuberville

Quack Attack - Oregon Ducks offense

Resus Christ SuperStar - Illinois wide receiver Arrelious "Rejus" Benn

RJYH - Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer

SAPF - Stupid Ass Punt Formation

Shampoo-Banana - Champaign-Urbana

SMQ - Sunday Morning Quarterback

SUNJ - Rutgers (i.e. State university of New Jersey)

TacoPants - A term coined by Brian Cook at MGoBlog, TacoPants is Jason Avant's imaginary eleven-foot-tall friend. TacoPants was a frequent target for Chad Henne's passes throughout his tenure as Michigan QB.

Treveshamockery - Trev Albert's demeanor on ESPN's College Football Final (before he was fired) combined with the famous "travesty, sham, and mockery" sniglet from a Miller Brewing Co. commercial.

Triple P - The Bo Pelini party picture taken on Bourbon Street in the wee hours of the morning following LSU's defeat of Ohio State in the 2008 (2007 season) BCS national title game.

Triumvirate - The Erin Andrews, Jenn Sterger, Tracy Wolfson trio

TBDBITL - The Best Damn Band in the Land

TEDPOTW - Tyler Ecker Dumbass Play of the Week. During the final play of the 2005 Alamo Bowl vs. Nebraska, Michigan tight end Tyler Ecker decides to run into a crowd of Cornhusker defenders near the sideline before being tackled around the 15 yard line instead of lateraling to one of the best return men in college football (Steve Breaston) for what would have been a sure touchdown. What. The. Fuck. Way to give one up for the team, son.

WFV - West Fuckin' Virginia

Wheelchair Wizard - Steven Hawking

YMSWWC - Your Mother Slept with Wilt Chamberlain