Mötley College Football title image
2005 Week 11

Suzy Shusters,

Classy move by Chuck Amato during the halftime interview with Suzy on Saturday. When asked what Amato had seen that the Pack could attack, Amato said, "You." Suzy held her ground, which in retrospect wasn't too hard considering the Chuckster has the biggest rack in college football this side of the USC Sweater Girls and wasn't wearing his wrap-around Oakleys. Chas should send a thank you note to Bobby B., as Coach Bowden lost, once again, to a former protégé who is on the coaching hot seat. Next up for the 'Noles is Clemson, a big winner over Duke this weekend. ... Georgia Tech became bowl eligible with a win against Wake Forest. ... Temple lost to Virginia by a score of 51-3. Thank goodness for Duke, Temple, and the Big East - the only things keeping Illinois out of ESPN.com's Bottom 10. ... North Carolina upset Boston College in Chapel Hill. That likely saved Coach Bunting's job and will give me a chance to break out the "Can JB beat Miami twice" flash cartoon next year. ... In the biggest showdown of the weekend, the Hurricanes stormed into Blacksburg (obligatory pun for Week 10 action) and thoroughly thrashed the Hokies. I haven't seen people jump off a bandwagon so quickly since Miami beat an undefeated UCLA squad led by Cade McNown in 1998. Hope Marcus didn't book a flight to New York. The 'Canes control their own destiny for the ACC title and could slip into the national title game should two of the top 3 teams lose.

Big 11
Northwestern mounted a late 4th quarter comeback against Iowee in Evanston. The Wildcats (cue stupid rowr sound) recovered an onside kick and marched downfield for the winning score. Northwestern is now bowl eligible. Purple Power! ... Penn State throttled Wisconsin in Happy Valley. The Fighting JoePas only need a win at East Lansing on November 19th to clinch the Big Ten title. Wisconsin, meanwhile, battles Iowa this week for the Heartland Trophy before taking a late November vacation in Hawaii. ... Michigan State lost to Purdue, leaving Illinois as the only team without a conference win. Sparty is 5-4 and in grave danger of finishing 5-6 with remaining games against Minnesota and Penn State. ... The Fighting Zookers held the tOSU juggernaut to 40 in a loss to the Buckeyes at the 'Shoe. Nothing witty to say here; it was a good ol' fashioned ass whoopin'. Ohio State needs victories over the Northwestern and Michigan and a PSU loss to finish atop the Big Eleven.


Big 1+11
With apologies to the ladies in the audience, the BlackShirts looked more like the BlackSkirts in Nebraska's 40-15 loss to the Fighting Manginos. And the once proud Big Red offense managed just 21 yards rushing against the Jayhawks. Bill Walsh called and requested the 'Huskers stop referring to their offense as the West Coast Offense. I say it's time to fire Callahan and hire Stephen Hawking as coach - it's guaranteed to cut down on the throat slashing gestures, and it will be funny to hear phrases like "fucking rednecks" on his speech synthesizer.

Texas routed Baylor, 62-0. For the 2nd week in a row, the Bears posted a donut. Vince Young has moved ahead of Reggie Bush and Matt Leinart in most Heisman polls, something I've been calling for since Week 2. Texas has a clear route to the Rose Bowl; their toughest test should be against a struggling but proud Aggie team (56-17 losers to Texas Tech) during rivalry week. Speaking of Texas A&M, this is why coaches shouldn't have a blog. I love the "big hat, no cattle" comment in the Aggie fan responses.

For bookkeeping purposes, Colorado defeated Missouri and Iowa State beat Kansas State.

Big East
Louisville's thrashing of Oregon State on September 17th remains the only time this year that a member of the Big East has beaten a team from another BCS conference with a winning record. The Beavers are 5-4. Louisville defeated Pittsburgh this week, continuing Coach Mustache's slide and making the Cardinals bowl eligible. ... West Virginia, the Big East's highest ranked team, made quick work of (when does basketball season start?) Connecticut on Wednesday. The conference has sunk to the level of playing weeknight games because nobody will watch their games when other teams are playing. ... SUNJ took my comments from last week and ran, coming up with a 45-31 loss to South Florida. Can't say that I blame them, though. Plenty of distractions in Tampa.

Northern Illinois defeated Central Michigan in Mount Pleasant by a 31-28 count. Up next for the Chippewas is a road trip to Kalamazoo to take on Western Michigan (44-36 winners over Eastern Michigan on Saturday). Eastern will host Ball State in Ypsilanti during Week 11 action.

Arizona exposed UCLA as the frauds that they are during a 52-14 shellacking in Tucson. The Dorrell Disciples don't have any time to ponder their problems, as Les Diables (27-24 winners over Wazzu) invade the Rose Bowl this week. That will mark the 1st time since Bastille Day that anyone with a French mustache has invaded anything.

The story behind the Wazzu flag you see flying at every College Football GameDay location.

Cal choked away a victory against the Quack Attack at Autzen thanks to a botched last-second field goal. Thank the wonderful Oregon weather for that one. LCCMOTW goes to Mike Bellotti for using the SAPF, which of course led to a blocked punt. If any coach should know not to use that formation, it should be Coach PornStache. ... Oregon State defeated Washington 18-10. I'm confident Illinois could go 1-2 against an all-Huskies schedule (Northern IL, Connecticut, and Washington). ... Finally, USC ripped Stanford in the LBC. They know how to party in So. Cal. Insert Stephen Hawking joke here.

Tennessee made Notre Dame look like a decent team in South Bend. Obviously Randy Sanders wasn't the only problem on the coaching staff. Are there any Tennessee fans that want to participate in the pick 'em pool? It's not as fun taking potshots without any intended recipients being around for the festivities. For example:

Behold, the power of Kenny! The Vols have not won a game since Kenny Rogers performed during the halftime show of the Georgia-Tennessee game in Knoxville. Coincidence?

Only in the SEC.

LuLu and Junior are big Tennessee fans.

Things are getting bad in Knoxville.

I was expecting some modified music but got a crappy video montage.

Florida defeated Vandy in 49-42 double overtime defensive struggle. SEC officials should be ashamed of themselves for calling the celebration penalty at the end of regulation when Vandy scored to make it 35-34. The Commodores were going to go for two points (and the win - or loss) but settled for a 35-yard extra point to send the game to overtime. Perhaps Bobby Gaston and David Parry got together before the week to compare notes. Big game coming up for the Gators in Columbia this week against South Carolina, who is now bowl eligible after a 14-10 victory over Arkansas in Week 10 action.

Two other SEC games are headlining this week's action: LSU @ Alabama and Auburn @ Georgia. LSU tried to work out the kinks in a 24-0 victory over I-AA Appalachian State. Alabama shut out Mississippi State but hasn't had a touchdown pass in an SEC game since Tyrone Prothro's leg was discombobulated over one month ago.

LUS, part deux. We should have the SEC West covered by season's end. I'm guessing Albaaam is next.

Taking it up a notch.

Auburn downed Kentucky 49-27, so Kitten won't lose anymore clothes this week. From last Thursday - Say goodbye to the belt and the shoes. With Vandy, Georgia, and Tennessee on the remaining schedule, that might be it for the year.

This is the kind of stuff that needs to be on TV. It's like Hulkamania meets One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

You can't spell AutoZone Liberty Bowl without Urban.

Steve Superior

Left Content Divider
Previous Next Written November 8, 2005 (Posted October 16, 2007)