Mötley College Football title image
2005 Week 05

Fighting (Houston) Nutts,

As a college football fan, I find the picture linked below highly entertaining. As an educated redneck, I have to wonder how many times he got kicked in the head by a horse as a child. Penn State edged NU in Evanston. Before everybody jumps on the JoePa bandwagon, let's remember that is essentially the same Wildcat team that Illinois should have beaten last year. Exactly.

Illinois managed to hold Sparty to 705 yards of offense in Shampoo-Banana. I watched the game in its brutal entirety (is that a word?). It was a train wreck that you just couldn't turn your eyes away from. The Zooker apologized to fans after the game; I think an apology from Ron Turner would have been more appropriate. Next up on the docket for MSU is a home game versus Meeeshigan (apologies to Bob Ufer, God rest his soul). Big Blue finally fell to Bucky. Congratulations to the Badgers. The Wolverines have lost 7 of their last 8 road openers and Chad Henne, once again, looked mired in a sophomore slump. If UM-Ann Arbor (if they keep it up a Directional name will be in order) doesn't get their act together quickly they'll be playing in the Alamo Bowl this December ("I hear San Antonio is lovely that time of year"). While many may take joy in a potential 6-5 Fichigan record, that concerns me. I would like Lloyd to remain in charge as long as possible; I don't want someone competent taking over the Maize & Blue juggernaut.

Speaking of Directional Michigan, Eastern outlasted Central in an overtime contest this weekend to take the lead in the Directional Cup Standings. Western took their show on the road and defeated Big East reject Temple. You have to be really bad to get kicked out of the Big East. The top dog in that conference (Louisville) took a shellacking at the hands of a program (South Florida) that was started after I graduated college. And I'm not that old.

Once again Purdue lost a close game to a lower ranked opponent. Wilford Brimley should stop eating so much oatmeal so his coaching collar doesn't tighten up during the 4th quarter. I didn't think it was possible to get outcoached by Glen Mason, but Joe Tiller managed to pull it off. Congratulations? Plenty of time left in the season for the Gophers to choke, however. And if the past few seasons are any indication, it will be in spectacular fashion. ... tOSU avenged last year's loss to Iowa and pounded the Hawkeyes in Columbus. The Buckeyes now have the inside track to the Big 11 title. Ohio State looks better on offense with Troy Smith under center full-time, but there is room for improvement. Ted Ginn only got the ball three times on offense (excluding punt & kickoff returns). That's unacceptable for one of the top 3 playmakers in the nation (the other two being Reggie Bush and Vince Young).

Vandy is now 4-0. They've got October 8th circled on their calendars. ... Kitten gets to keep her clothes on for another week, as the Gators pounded the Wildcats in Lexington. Florida's offense looked better, but let's be honest, it was against Kentucky. We'll get a better picture of how good they really are next weekend when they travel to Tuscaloosa for a contest with the undefeated Elephants.

Virginia Tech put on a BeamerBall display and whooped the Yellow Jackets. The impressive performance was enough to vault them ahead of LSU in the AP rankings. Texas was idle this week and remained at #2. USC is still at #1, the 23rd consecutive week that the Fighting Condoms have been at the top of the poll. They blasted the Ducks in Eugene despite a poor first half performance. Next up on their schedule is a trip to Arizona State. The Sun Devils were winners over Oregon State despite their continued insistence on using that stupid-ass punt formation (SAPF). It doesn't work - how many blocked punts will it take to get that through Dirk's skull? I am starting a campaign for a Virginia Tech - ASU matchup. Frank Beamer's head would explode from the anticipation of 4th and long for Les Diables Du Soleil.

Finally, it was a rough Monday night for Bayou Bengal fans. The LSU secondary was especially awful; I haven't seen that much blown coverage since Janet Jackson performed at Super Bowl XXXVIII. Les, Jimbo, Bo & Company better get it together, because the 2nd half performance by all parties left a lot to be desired. They need to get back to the basics in Baton Rouge. Spelling would be a good place to start:

If you played high school football in a sports-crazed town this article is probably a little too familiar.

Tough year for Bob Stoops.

Texas Tech bell ringer. Probably not safe for work. Don't shoot the messenger - I only report the news (after scouring the internet for hours to find it).

Buena suerte to all, and Go Illini!


Left Content Divider
Previous Next Written September 26, 2005 (Posted October 23, 2007)